xmas 09

Xmas 09 was better than xmas 08. I spent Xmas 08 in my grandpas hospital room after his first seizure. I knew he was going to leave us and that it was going to be the last christmas we will spend together. He would cry because we would leave him in the hospital. I pulled my parents out of the hospital for an engagement dinner right by columbia presbyterian. I barely ate dinner(crackers). My dad was annoyed and visibly upset. My mom disliked the choice of ring. I was devastaded and engaged.

This year, my sister took a take home pregnancy test. Dumb ass was positive. Instead of being happy for her, I was thinking of how to help her get rid of it. What the hell was she thinking! No job, no education, living at home with my parents, a motherf@@ing boyfriend who doesnt support her in any way….

I felt saddened. I love my sister but I dont approve of her choices. I hate being the big sister when she is much older than me. 

I imagine her empowered and fierce. I imagine her strong and with self esteem. The best for her.

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